I don’t know about you, but I usually categorize my friends into buckets:
1. Hi-Hello kinds: You run into them at the mall or the grocery store or at a restaurant. You exchange pleasantries with them and promise to keep in touch. But you know and he/she knows that you won’t.
2. Periodic friends: They become your really good friends while you are at a particular place – same office, same school, same dancing class or something like that. You are the best of friends there, but once you are out of that common place, you lose touch.
3. Can pick up threads where you left ’em friends: These are the kind who will always make you feel warm and good. You might not be in touch on a regular basis, but when you meet them you can reconnect like you never lost touch.
4. Besties: Self explanatory. These are your best friends. You call them everyday/almost everyday. If not call, you text/chat. If something is wrong in your life, these are the ones you call and rely on always.
5. Friends on Facebook but don’t know how: There are a few people on facebook who are on my friend list, but I have no clue how they got there. I have to look really hard at their profile info to find the common link.
Well, so there was one such friend who became my best friend. I got to know her at work. Pretty soon, we became inseparable – at work and outside work. We spent almost every waking moment together. The fact that we lived in the same neighborhood made it even more easier for us to hangout more often. But then I left work to go to the US. She threw me the most awesome farewell party. We vowed to keep in touch. For some time, we did. We sent each other long emails. We called each other on weekends. She filled me in on the office gossip. I updated her on my school life and new friends. But then she started dating someone. Of course, I was happy for her. In fact, I had even encouraged her to go out with him and get to know him. I got busy with school life. The calls and emails became less frequent too. But every time I visited home, she still made time for me and things always felt like I had left them. So I moved her from category 4 to 3.
Every time I thought of moving back home again, I always thought of good times spent with her and yearned for it. Of course, I didn’t move back for her, but it still gave me a good feeling knowing that she will be around and I can again hangout with her. So I called her as soon as I landed here. Met her over coffee and lunch in the first week itself. Unfortunately, the warmth and the closeness was missing. I thought this feeling was temporary and soon things would fall into place. But nope, they didn’t. Soon after my breakup, I appointed her as my breakup buddy. Someone I would call instead of calling my ex and someone I would pour my heart out to. Well, to give her credit, she did try her best to be around and make me feel better. But the calls got less frequent. Half the time, she wouldn’t answer, and half the times, she wouldn’t return my calls. Every weekend she would say lets hangout, and then not call to fix a time. Well, so that’s how it is now. So now I guess I will have to move her from Category 3 to 2. It hurts so much. Most of my friends have moved out of this city and she is the only close friend around. I so wish things would go back to normal. But I guess they won’t. I just have to accept it. Just the way I accepted that my ex and I are not happily ever after material. Sigh.