Break-up Advice
One of the things that I am doing as I deal with a break-up is that I replay certain conversations with my ex over and over again in my head. In one such conversation, my ex went on and on about not wanting to hurt his parents without even once apologizing for putting me through all this. I was shell-shocked. How could someone be so insensitive? Is he the same guy I fell in love with? Did he not realize that it will hurt me if he breaks up with me? Or did he think I was so thick-skinned that it wouldn’t hurt me? Or did he expect me to understand? Why did he choose to get emotionally involved if he didn’t have the courage to follow through on his commitment? How much can one tolerate? Looking back, I wish I had spoken my mind – “F*** you, loser! Your loss!” Instead, I cried, and howled, and pleaded him to reconsider. In hindsight, the drama was so not worth it. I wonder if his parents were the reason he broke up with me or if he just used them as an excuse. I guess I will never know. And it doesn’t matter anymore.
That makes me wonder –
* Is there a good way to break up? I guess not. But I think you at least owe the other person an honest explanation of your actions so that he/she can reach closure.
* Can you stay friends right after a break up? I think it’s best not to, for your own good. You have to end all communication cold turkey.
So that’s my break-up advice to anybody who is sailing in the same boat as I am today: If you can’t save the relationship, at least save your pride.
Chronicles of a Blogaholic 
You’ll get over it, however hard it may seem right now. Right now, it will be the post-break-up drama that’s haunting you and you may even feel comforted by it…because it gives you something to dwell on rather than take the effort to start anew. Which is fine. But pick yourself up at the end of it. A couple of years down the line, you’ll find yourself laughing at how much weight you gave it. We’ve all been there and done that, sister 🙂 Cheer up!
Thanks, GB! 🙂 Yeah, I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. I know breaking up and moving on is a process. You go through these different phases and emotions – wishing that your ex would realize his mistake and come back, questioning where you went wrong, getting angry, accepting it, looking for the good in it…and finally moving on. I just wish I could fast forward it! Thanks for the sound advice and the much-needed cheering!! 🙂
Break ups suck! And no, I don’t think there is a good way to break up…even if it is mutual. But yes, time heals. There’s no doubt about that. Good luck with moving on and with your journey. Looking forward to reading more.
Thank you, Psych Babbler! 🙂
I am not so sure whether ending all communication like that is needed or good. I think its important to forgive and at least be decently friendly with the ex, to really move on and heal. Just my two cents. :))
all the best. 🙂