Chronicles of a Blogaholic

The story of my life from here on

Why am I here?

I am here because I need time to introspect and figure out who I really am and what I want out of this life. At this point in life, I feel like I have reached a dead-end. I gave up my American dream and moved back to my home country to get married to a guy I had been dating for 3 years. Well, you must think I am crazy right? So did my family and friends. But we all know love is blind. In my case, I think I was blind. I never saw the signs. Or even if I did, I didn’t want to believe them. Within two months of returning to homeland, this guy and I split up. He said he didn’t think he had the courage to go against his family’s wishes. So here I am – dealing with a break up, job search and lost self-esteem. Unsure of my next move. Clueless. The silver lining in this dark, grey cloud is that at least I am at home with my family. I was very homesick while I was in foreign land. I longed for my family, for home-cooked food, and old friends. But now that I am here, I am restless. Part of me wants to return to US. But the other side of my brain keeps reminding me of sad, lonely days, meals eaten alone, days spent walking around alone in New York city and questions me if I really want to feel that lonely again. So here I am…trying to figure it all out. I am hoping that this blog will help me get my act together. It’s the story of my life…from here on.

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2 thoughts on “Why am I here?

  1. Clueless on said:

    Hey there! I am also another Clueless soul, just in different ways. I just wanted to say hang in there! Dont beat yourself up with regrets of having left behind opportunities in the US. Yes you may have, but life has unexplicable ways of putting you in places and situations, but we will always wade out of them. I hope you find yourself in all this mess and are able to find stability emotionally and career/finances wise. And then you can start afresh.

    • Awww, thank you Clueless! 🙂 So sweet of you to say that. Yeah, I keep telling myself that this happened for a reason. God wanted it to happen this way because there is something better in store for me. It’s amazing how sometimes even strangers empathize with you, and the person who you thought was the closest to you puts you through so much crap…Sigh…we live and learn…

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